GENERAL DISASTERS, ONGOING

Trumpo, the elephant always actually in the room, refuses. He has nothing to hide, to fear, to disclose, to etc., etc., and Congress bangs its gavel in frustration. Trumpo continues putin on a show. Presidential staff says yah boo sucks to you. Plans are made for the Trumpo Presidential library, which will be in a small basement in Trumpo Towers. There will be no books. Just frozen tweets for everyone.

Meanwhile, in the UK, the Bullmeister has a general erection. A major typo mess is created when Con Party printers produce a billion leaflets etc, saying “GET BREXIT GONE“. farridge mobilises all three of his workers to collect and burn them. Ann Widdecombe aflame with nigel-desire. farridge forms UK chapter of Ku Klux Klan. Expresses wish to be the Grand Shitemaster. Told to stand in line by Barking Francois.

South African team wins Rugby World Cup by digging huge hole with their front-row forwards and burying England. SA captain Kolisi, first-ever black man to captain the ‘Boks, triumphant. farridge hears this, claims that Kolisi is actually Collins, a white man who has been blacked up by evil PR people. His view endorsed on radio by trumpo who is now participating in elections in Croatia, Argentina, Iceland, Botswana, Norway, etc., etc. The Bullmeister wears an England rugby shirt for some reason and is held responsible for the defeat. Sings sweet and low.

The Brits remember, remember the fifth of November. What they remember and why, no-one knows. Something to do with gum powder, to help fawking awful teeth perhaps. Several people blow themselves up in celebration. The Chinese, they say, are crackers. Catherine McWheels of Bonfyre, in Scotland somewhere, is given a rocket by a sturgeon for celebrating an English non-event.

Jacob Rich-Muck explains to the Grenfell Inquiry that if he and his family had been caught in a blazing building, they would have got out quickly and easily – “because, you see, we can fly. Sew, ite the windows we would hev gorn. Simple. D’yoo mean to tell me thet proles, I mean other people, can’t fly? High stupid of them nort to hev learned.” He was heard to apologise later. “One was very tired and one needed a rest,” he said.

In several places, climate change is blamed on the weather. David Attenthing proposes to the Swedish Wondergirl. They sail away in Greety MacGreetface to address Urang Utans, Chimpanzees, Gorillas, etc., warning them against eating palm oil or something. Everyone agrees to stop smoking diesel.

More? Eventually.