Whatever our wish list looks like, it’s time for realpolitik as the Germans say. By that I don’t mean just what I think the realities might be. It’s what they are. So, Rory Stewart.

To head johnson off, someone from the wannabe-leaders including Rory S would have to be prepared to go for the jugular. Serial adulterer, johnson, liar, cheat, bumbling incompetent, laughing stock. And that is not going to happen because party politics is such that you never know when you may need to lick the arse of the colleague you are trashing. And short of a sharp knife to the jugular, johnson is unstoppable. Not least because Tories at every level think that he is the only one who could, just possibly, rally the Con vote away from farage. Fight fire with fire. Suffocate shit with more shit.

So, no knife, no jugular.

Yes, there have been occasions in the past where party top knobs were so confused that they ran about knifing one another in the chest, but that was when the Cons were fully confident of winning the next election whoever the leader. No so now. Now, fragmentation, farage, brex and the dread possibility of a Corbyn government. They’ll do almost anything – or not do almost anything that needs doing – to avoid that.  And remember that however good we feel about Rory S, he says with perfect clarity that he wants to see brex delivered. No EuRef2. No peoples’ vote. No way a revocation of Art 50. He’s a brexiteer. He prates about ignoring the peoples’ decision. He warns about destroying democracy. Same song as Theresa May’s. Utter nonsense.

What’s more, Rory S is an Etonist. He’s never going to trash a fellow Etonist, anyway. Rumour has it that Rory loathes Cameron but has never said a bad word about him in public. Same with Johnson and Cameron. Despise each other, but never a bad word. School and Uni, y’know. Old school. Tories all, after all’s said and done.

Stewart talks about building up the Con party the way Corbyn did it for Labour. The very fact that he, Rory, wants to build the Con party at all, sets my teeth on edge – but the only realistic way it can be done is to make an irresistible appeal to the younger voters. 18-30 or so. And 99% of them are, as with almost all young people, inclined to the left of politics where the Labs live. So good luck with that. And in any event, why should even half a million Tory or any other party members have the right to select the next PM?

Stewart talks about getting out and talking to people. Does he not yet understand that at least 80% of those who open their front doors will agree with whoever knocks on them? I have been there and done that. Got the scars to prove it. What matters is not how many people he talks to in Wigan, Whitby, Woking or wherever. What matters is how many TV, radio, press, and Soc Med interviews he can engineer, because that might stand him in good stead for the next, next leadership contest which will happen relatively soon when even the idiots at Con grassroots realise that a johnson premiership has been a complete disaster. And when the Con MP’s at that time, realise it too. Yes, Rory is a very good interviewee. But he doesn’t have the numbers to turn that into anything more.

The court case against johnson? He will revel in it. It will give him endless hours of exposure to the great under-educated, in the gutter press and elsewhere. And do we really think that a jury is going to find him guilty when it is a dead cert that the judge will instruct the jury not to? And would a judge ever allow himself/herself to sentence such a prominent politician to anything more than a fine even if johnson is found guilty? Technicalities like his alleged misbehaviour are for brushing under the nearest full-bottomed wig.

See what I mean? Political realities. Don’t be tempted to eat any pies in the sky.

So, gird your loins for a johnson as PM. Get ready for a no-deal brex.

One possible ray of hope; we all remember how we felt the day that the result of the 2016 EuRef1 was announced – because we were 100% certain that Remain would win. Let us make a similar assumption this time, i.e., that johnson will win. And wake up the next day to discover that he hasn’t.

Wouldn’t that be good?